: Christmas cards for pets are just getting ridiculous, aren’t they?

: The Oxford word of the year is ‘brain rot.’ I don’t mean to be pedantic, but it’s not a …

: What are the rules on Whamageddon? I got to mid-December last year before hearing George Michael …

: My latest attempt at humour - The Speed Awareness Course. www.chasinganoodle.com/p/the-spe…

: The clocks have gone back in the U.K. and, to be honest, I’m not a fan of GMT. I’m sticking with …

: The alternative to the hospital Outpatient wards…

: ✅ My generosity knows no bounds. Here are the general knowledge quiz answers… …

: 300 million emojis on our smartphones and the one time we need an emoji for this… not a …

: New product idea…

: With increased speculation in the press, I feel it necessary to make a statement. Despite being …

: I’m starting an OnlyFans…

: Today I started the campaigning group Just Stop Foil – dedicated to ending the tyranny of crinkly …

: Exciting news! The IOC asked for my help to brainstorm new events for the 2028 Olympics. …

: I think athletics relays could be made more interesting if they swapped the batons out for a …

: Introducing a new concept: the ‘Multi-Story Car Park.’ Visitors drive in and park. …

: Came up with a new meat brand today…

: The Inconvenience Store - my latest article. www.chasinganoodle.com/p/the-inc…

: I’ve been drinking Smartwater three times a day for 5 years now. At what point will people stop …

: I was chatting to a couple this morning about ‘mixed-weight’ relationships. One of them …

: I concur…

: This is just excellent.

: I can’t disagree with this sentiment.

: I’m creating a new stage show: ‘Safety Curtain’. I still have a few things to iron out (plot, …

: 🗳️ Can I count on your vote?

: Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be…

: 🤔 Question: What’s the deal with hotel showers? Multiple dials with different settings and symbols - …

: Overestimate me at your own peril.

: The moment it hits you that you’ve fallen into a new age bracket (and there’s only 2 left to go!)… 😳

: Asked ChatGPT to create an image of the Ministry of Silly Walks. It’s not quite right, is it? 🤔 …

: You know you have OCD when you want to find 4 more facts for a book you’re not vaguely interested …

: Question: Do you think we’ll ever evolve to the point where we no longer need to be reminded …

: Creativity is seeing what everyone else has seen, and thinking what no one else has thought.” - …

: What is it with babies' fingernails? You’re having a cuddle, they reach out to touch your face …

: Why do they make trains so damn cold? It’s like they’re trying to preserve a corpse.

: “If you’re going to be late, enjoy being late.” - Jude Law. #quotes

: Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be…

: There are two types of people in this world: Those who know how to use an apostrophe, and those who …

: Came up with a new concept today. Face cream for owls. Why has no-one done this before?

: Invented a new board game. Unsure if it’ll catch on…

: I visited the chemist earlier and was served by a lady called Rosemary. Well, I say …

: Today I completed the full set of being looked at internally through every possible orifice. I …

: A man knocked on our door today dressed as an Eskimo and holding a fishing rod. I said to him, …

: After being so wildly successful with my 2023 predictions, I was asked (by nobody) to write some for …

: This week’s conversation highlight: 👨‍🍳 Chef friend: “I’ve got 4 weddings this …

: I decided to put my mystic hat on (a colander) and write some predictions for 2023…